Majoring in Bullshitting
by GingershotaTed
Summary: Prompt: my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said "i'm going to die" and drank the whole thing


**Another one-shot! Yay!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers. They belong to Marvel, although I do own a Hawkeye plush.**

* * *

I sit down at my desk and wait for the class to actually start, pulling out a book to keep me occupied. It is Russian so that no one can get a clue of what I'm reading. I hear someone stumble in and land in the chair next to mine, but don't bother looking over. Although I would never voice it, I feel the same way, I hate this class, it's so boring, but I need to take it. I mean, don't get me wrong, the professor is great, everyone seems to love Prof. Coulson. It's the curriculum that tends to drive people crazy, myself included. I'd rather not be here. Calculus was a pain in high school and it's a pain now. Especially the exam that Coulson kept postponing that may or may not happen today. Way to stress us all out.

After a few minutes the person next to me lifts their head, without turning mine I can see their dirty-blond hair sticking up all over the place, and their disheveled clothes, as well as the bandages that cover their arm as they grab the desk for leverage and reach down to grab something from their bag. He sets a coffee cup and a can of monster on his desk and opens them both. He began pouring the energy drink into his coffee, I couldn't help but cringe at how bad that is going to taste, as well as what it's going to do to the guy's body later on.

"I'm Clint." He introduces himself, causing me to look up from my book. I decide to be polite.

"Natasha." I greet back.

As soon as the rest of this class as well as Coulson enter the room he screws the cups lid back on and gets rid of the can.

Right before the lesson starts the boy turns to me. "Hey Natasha?"

"Yes, Clint?"

He simply says one sentence and stares at me with no emotion at all, "I'm going to die." And then proceeded to down the whole cup, as I watched.

After a few minutes of that sight he clutched his stomach in pain, groaning. Coulson seemed to notice this and told him to leave but it seemed like he was stuck in that position in pain. Without thinking I offered to help get him out and checked out and Coulson, being the good guy he is, allowed it.

I gathered up my things and went over to his side. I picked up his bag as well and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and helped him up. Then we left the room.

* * *

It took a while to get where we needed to go because every once and a while he would need to stop and rest. While we had those moments we got to know each other a little better. It's not really something I would do with most people, but he doesn't seem like most people. I told him about how I came here four years ago from Russia and practiced ballet as well as martial arts and other forms of self-defense. He in turn explained his hearing aids and his affinity to archery.

Once we got walking again he explained that he would rather not go see a doctor.

"You can just take me back to my apartment, my roommate should be back by now." He told me, I complied, seeing as I had nothing better to do and this would mean I wouldn't have to go back to Coulson. I took him to my car and let him direct me to his apartment off of campus. We were both silent in the car other than that.

Once we reach his place I help him out since he's still in a lot of pain, and up the stairs to the fourth floor.

He pulls out his keys as he leans against the wall and hands them to me to unlock the door. The second we walk in; we're immediately greeted by the sight of a buff blond guy just coming from the shower.

"Hey Steve-o, ol' buddy, ol' pal. Mind giving us a hand over here?" Clint groans out.

"Oh yeah sure, here." Hey quickly bustled over to us and shifted Clint's weight onto him, helping him to their couch.

He turned back to me once he was situated and stuck out his hand. "Thanks for your help, Miss…"

"Romanov. Natasha." I shake his outstretched hand.

"So what even happened?" He asked. Clint opened his mouth but I decided to answer for him.

"This idiot thought it smart to pour an entire Monster energy drink into his coffee and drink it all at once." Clint glared at me through half-open eyelids as I spoke.

Steve whipped around to face Clint again. "Clint! Seriously, you could have seriously damaged your body by doing that. I've told you already that those energy drinks are no good for your health."

Clint groaned at Steve. "Hey look, I'm kinda dying here so do you think we could save the lecture for another time?"

Steve sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Fine." He begrudgingly agreed.

"He's probably gonna have heartburn and a headache later as the sugar and caffeine makes its course." I informed the two. Make sure he drinks some water and eat something like a banana or apple for the heartburn. After he eats something he should be able to take aspirin." I informed them.

"Thanks again. I think I have some of that in the cabinet."

"Well, I should get going. Enjoy the repercussions of that stunt you pulled, Clint." I tell them and head for the door. I'm called back by Clint.

"Hey wait!" I turn back around. "You don't really wanna go back to Coulson and take that exam, do you? Just stay here until it's over." I shrug my shoulders and walk back in, sitting next to Clint's prone form.

* * *

After a while of groaning, Clint updates me and Steve, whining about how much pain he's in. Steve gets the remedies I had told him about and sets them in front of him. Clint attempts to sit up to eat and inevitably ends up falling off the couch quite ungracefully. As he begins to eat he looks up at me from the floor.

"'Bet I'm just oozing attractiveness now, aren't I. Admit it, you're charmed by this." He gestured to his hunched over position lazily, grinning broadly when I let myself crack a smile.

"You're an idiot."

* * *

 **So yeah, this was just a little fun one-shot. It's kinda lame and shorter than my usual stories but whatever.**

 **So, until next time, peace**

 **-Ted**


End file.
